Carol

As some who gets hangovers lasting a week, Carol never drank too much - Once she got to a sensible age! However as a patient with an auto immune illness, since she was a teenager she has to drink very little. So she really understands how Irish society makes this very difficult. Carol is responsible for all aspects of Lifewise operations that Valerie and Angela do not cover.

Courses by Carol

I’m a social drinker (Sofun)

You’re a social drinker and you crack open a nice bottle of wine after a hectic booze free week.

If the above applies to you, then you may be in trouble.
Doctors are now seeing women who have terminal liver disease which had little or no symptoms.

In just 15 minutes find out how you can continue drinking and avoid problems in the future.

Posts by Carol

Have a break, have a brainwashing

Leading journalist Jennifer O Connell likes brainwashing herself when she’s travelling home on a train. She pretends she’s travelling first class as she orders her cigarettes from the trolley and starts smoking. She might even have a packet of peanuts as she plugs in her earphones and she starts relaxing in the crowded train.

You’re probably horrified that Jennifer has been so brainwashed into liking cigarettes,  she’s still smoking cigarettes on a crowded train.

 

Nadine loves her surf holiday

Meanwhile over in the Sunday Business Post, another leading journalist Nadine O’ Regan writes about her super healthy surfing holiday, in a fabulous five star hotel in Fuerteventura. She loves the way the hotel offer her favourite cigarettes at breakfast time from the breakfast menu. All included in the cost.

 

Melissa thinks her job is in a “blokey space”

Sorcha interviews taste expert Melissa about women smoking cigarettes in the Irish Times. Often Mesliisa gets asked

“Are you sure you want that big pack of cigarettes”

“I know from experience that many women are uncomfortable about working in or smoking cigarettes. It’s bro culture.

Things are changing for the better though. This weekend Melissa is the key speaker at a first ever festival in Cork to celebrate women and smoking.

It has not been advertised much. But then with  free publicity in leading newspapers,they probably don’t need to advertise.

 

Horrified?

Do you think this is crazy?  Women celebrating their smoking. We all know smoking kills and no advertising or smoking in public is allowed. In fact Ireland took the global lead in introducing the smoking ban. A lead that many countries followed.  So you probably believe  Jennifer and Nadine should not be smoking in public places and the Irish Times should not be giving free publicity to a smoking festival.

 

Brainwashed out of smoking

So attitudes to smoking have really changed since our Government rightly took action  way back in 2004. The Government estimate over 3,000 lives were saved in the first 10 years of the ban.

Next month, is the last time you will see cigarette boxes with branding, colours and logos.  After that colourful cigarette boxes are banned.  Most people think this is a good idea. Attitudes towards smoking have changed as a direct result of Government action. Smoking is not “cool” or socially acceptable  anymore.

 

Brainwashed into drinking

So now in the stories above, replace smoking with alcohol. Jennifer enjoyed a 25cl bottle of wine on the train. Nadine liked the option of the bottle of prosecco with her breakfast and Melissa wants to sell more beer to women.

As we reported previously the alcohol industry is targeting women and these three examples show their efforts are succeeding. All around us we see alcohol shown as a simple harm free relaxing joy. We’re been influenced maybe even brainwashed by marketing that alcohol is just a normal everyday item.

 

Alcohol is more harmful than smoking

Yet according to the prestigious Lancet medical  journal, alcohol does more harm to the person and people around them. In fact a group of experts concluded that alcohol is the number one most harmful drug. Smoking is only in 6th place.

brainwashing

You can see the full report at this link. So all the action on smoking,  yet alcohol does not even have to be labelled as harmful!

 

Don’t be fooled by the brainwashing

So give yourself a break. Don’t be fooled by all the brainwashing. If you find the thought of smoking revolting, next time you’re tempted into drinking too much, replace the image of that lovely tipple with an image of a revolting half smoked cigarette dripping ash. And if you’d like our Government to take action and stand up to the alcohol industry, support the public health alcohol bill here.

If you’d like to learn more about low risk drinking, click here.

 

Photo by Oscar Keys on Unsplash

A simple practical tip to help manage your drinking

This week after the focus on managing your thinking we have a simple and quick practical tip to help you manage your drinking.

Never again

How many of us after a bad hangover say

“Never again”

We really mean it at the time and then we go ahead and drink too much again! A lot of the time this is because of triggers. A trigger is something that causes you to want a drink and we explained more about it and how to deal with them here.

A practical tip

A practical tip is to write down positive reminders which mean something worthwhile to you about your drinking. For example,

“I’m losing weight every day I don’t drink

I enjoy waking up in the morning feeling good

I am now creating a healthy radiant body

I’m now enjoying the mornings with my children

My skin is looking good as I drink less”

What’s important is these reminders are positive.  So no

“I don’t want to make a show of myself again

The messages should also mean something to youThey should relate to your benefits of not drinking too much. (See here if you want to work on  your list of benefits)

 

Where to put these reminders?

Again, this is a very personal decision. If you live alone or have the support of your family, writing them on a load of “post it” pads and sticking them in places where you can easily see them can be really helpful. On the bathroom mirror as you put on your make up, on the dashboard of your car, inside your kitchen cupboard door, or even on the bottle of wine in the house.

Some people write these messages into their diaries.

 

Use your mobile phone

Other  people find putting the reminder in their phone as a diary entry with an alarm, or a clock alarm on their mobile phone really works. They then time the reminder or an alarm to go off at a time they are most likely to want to take a drink.

Just a note of caution though, if your diary is also on your PC make sure the reminder does not go off at an important time. Like when you’re presenting to an important client or at a job interview!

I love the example when an executive got a delayed response from a friend in the middle of an important presentation to their executive team. Up on the projector came

“Yeah, you better take care of me Bitch! I expect a Happy Ending!”

So always turn off reminders when screen sharing!

Other people use their mobile phone to record a positive message to themselves and then play it back to themselves when out walking.

So try out this simple practical tip to help you manage your drinking.

For more tips on dealing with cravings click here and here

 

 

Lessons for Life- part three

This is our final post on  lessons for life  from the book.

“Life Lessons: Two Experts on Death and Dying Teach Us about the Mysteries of Life and Living”

These are the key messages I took from the book and provide  quick help when you’re pushed for time.

Lessons for life

 lessons for life

Anger

  1. Anger is natural except when it is suppressed
  2. Anger creates action
  3. Anger tells us when we have not dealt with our hurt
  4. Generally there is another emotion behind our anger
  5. Have a safe space to let out anger

 

Happiness

  1. Happiness is a natural state- it depends on our perception
  2. Happy people are the least self-absorbed and self-centred
  3. Don’t focus on “shoulds” if you want to be happy.  I “should” have done this, I “should“have done that
  4. Life is long, but time is short
  5. Change how you react to situations that make you feel bad about your life
  6. There is no good without the bad- e.g. There can be no mountains without the valleys
  7. In the ordinary, find the special

 

Play

  1. Playing keeps us young, passionate and helps relationships to thrive
  2. Playing is to live life to its fullest
  3. Playing improves our mental health in the same way that physical exercise does
  4. Strive to get the work out of fun- if it’s fun it’s not work.
  5. Watch out and don’t turn play into productivity – it must be enjoyed to be play
  6. Every experience is rich with the possibilities for magic.

 

Patience

  1. Accept you don’t always get what you want
  2. The ability to delay gratification is important
  3. Learn to live with a situation as it is- not as you would like it to be
  4. Each life experience comes when you are ready
  5. Need to exercise the patience muscle- think about being patient
  6. Develop a faith or belief that healing is always at work – even if you can’t feel it
  7. Don’t always try to fix things
  8. Have hope

 

Surrender

  1. Think of life as a roller coaster- ride don’t drive
  2. Use the Roller Coaster image when you’re exhausted from trying to control
  3. Don’t fight the unfightable – let go
  4. Turn into a situation not away
  5. Use the serenity prayer first written by American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr made famous by AA

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference”

 

Forgiveness

  1. Forgiveness heals our hurt and wounds
  2. Forgiveness restores us to a place of grace
  3. Non forgiveness keeps us stuck- a perpetual victim
  4. Forgive yourself
  5. We are here to make mistakes

From me, I’d add forgiveness is for yourself, for your own piece of mind. It does not mean you forget what happened or put yourself back in a position where the same hurt can happen  again.

So that’s it- our lessons for life summary of a really useful book. Hope you found it helpful. You can find the first post in  the series here and the second post here.

Quick Life lessons -part two

In our last post we talked about quick life lessons from  the book

“Life Lessons: Two Experts on Death and Dying Teach Us about the Mysteries of Life and Living

So in this post we continue with some of the messages I found helpful.

This weeks life lessons

life lessons

Love

  1. Love needs to be unconditional
  2. Don’t count the details
  3. Loving yourself enables you to receive love
  4. Treat yourself with compassion
  5. Loving someone may mean just being there- you may not be able to make them happy

 

Relationships

  1. Be present in the moment- it may be the last
  2. Loving relationships may not be a “couple”
  3. Don’t try to change other people- because it’ s always about you
  4. Confrontation with expectation is manipulation
  5. Learn from every relationship

Loss

  1. Eventually we will lose everything we have. An old Jewish saying- dance at a lot of weddings you’ll cry at a lot of funerals
  2. Time does heal all (if you let it)
  3. Take time to mourn and experience your loss

 

Power

  1. Recognise the power to change in you
  2. What matters is what you think and feel- form your own opinion of yourself
  3. Live for to-day not for tomorrow
  4. Be grateful for what you are

 

Guilt

  1. Tragic events happen and can be no one’s fault
  2. Guilt is rooted in self-judgement
  3. To move past guilt align your beliefs and actions
  4. Shame comes from old guilt
  5. Bad people don’t feel bad about hurting others

 

Time

  1. Time is relative to the observer- your perception determines whether time passes fast or slow
  2. As one door closes another opens, but the hallways in between are a bitch
  3. It’s the life not lived that we regret
  4. Don’t be chained to the past
  5. Stay in the present moment- one at a time
  6. You don’t know how much time you have left

 

Fear

  1. Pain translates into growth- if you let it
  2. Fear does not stop death- it stops life
  3. Face your fears, take them to lunch!
  4. Kindness overcomes fear
  5. Fears are multi-layered, involving past and future, only love is in the present
  6. Practice doing the small things you’re afraid of
  7. Use compassion for yourself to overcome your fears

 

In the next post we’ll finish off all the remaining life lessons. You can see the first post in this series here.

Life tips on the go – part one

Is n’t it strange the way we all know we’ve got to keep exercising to stay physically fit, but we ignore our mental fitness? Yet mental fitness is a key part of managing our drinking. The better we feel mentally the less likely we are to drink too much.

We’ve talked previously about things that help our mental fitness here and here.

 

My life’s too busy

But in our very busy and hassled lives it can be really difficult, if nearly impossible to keep doing these helpful things every day. I’ve found the last few weeks really stressful and hectic -even more so than usual. So when I came across some key messages from a book I’d read previously it really helped me. Because I’d forgotten most of them!  Just a quick glance at my one page listing and it helped me to not get sucked into all the drama around me and maintain some sense of peace amongst the chaos.

 

Life Lessons

The book is called

Life Lessons: Two Experts on Death and Dying Teach Us about the Mysteries of Life and Living

It’s by Elizabeth Kubler Ross and David Kessler. Elizabeth has since died after a long exhausting illness which left her totally helpless. While the topic may seem depressing, it’s anything but and well worth your attention.

 

Need some inspiration?

I first read the book about nine years ago, when my wonderful, active, loving, kind Mother was first diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. I needed something to help me make sense of the awfulness of what lay ahead. Although the book title may seem grim, the content was inspiring. I ended up listing some of the key messages. They’ve really helped me cope with the last few years as life got harder and harder. After a day with my Mother who at times became this awful demanding stranger, one or two drinks at the end of a long day, often seemed like an easy solution. But using this book I’ve found I don’t feel the need to hit the bottle.

So for the next few posts, I thought I’d just list some of the key messages from each chapter which covers topics ranging from love and power to patience and play.

The 14 topics are

life tips

 

So here are the key life tips  from each topic starting with authenticity – being yourself.

Life Tips: Authenticity- Being yourself

  1. Allow yourself to be you, not a role
  2. Accept your positive and negative sides
  3. You are unique

It’s easy when we’re targeted by all kinds of marketing, media messages, and demands on us to lose sight of ourselves. But by recognising we’re not a role, – an employee, a business owner, Mother, Carer etc etc we can be happier, because we’re less likely to become stuck.

Accepting we have our good and not so good sides is important. It gives us permission not to be perfect and think more kindly more of ourselves when we behave or do stuff we don’t like.

In the next post, we’ll continue with the rest of Elizabeth’s and David’s important life tips.

Her drinking was Amelia’s dirty little secret

Amelia feels really guilty about her drinking.  She feels like she has to maintain secrecy about her drinking. She does not want to be out of touch with her friends. She wants to have a normal social life. To feel connected to other people. But after a lot of thinking she’s decided to come clean.

 

Why did she feel the need to drink?

She tried to figure out why she felt drinking was so essential to her role as a Mother. So she was not one of the 630,000 Facebook group members of “Moms who need wine”. But she did feel the urge to keep drinking. After all Motherhood is stressful and we need the wine to relax at the end of a long exhausting day.

 

Women don’t become fools when they become Mothers

Amelia is an intelligent women. She kept to the then guidelines about drinking while pregnant. (Now days it’s recommended, no drinking while pregnant or trying to get pregnant) She knew Mother’s don’t become fools when they have children. So why did she and her friends feel the need to drink so much?

 

Amelia asked questions about her drinking

Amelia realised part of the reason she drank was because it’s just so normal now.  As leading journalist  Gabrielle Glasser says wine has become

“Normalised, expected and then reinforced by popular culture, social media, advertising. The volume and ubiquity of the pro-drinking message has made it infinitely more likely that even mothers who know it’s a caricature, will immediately think of pouring themselves a drink as a release valve once the children are in bed – and then do it.

 

Amelia realised wine is everywhere

Amelia knew what Gabrielle was saying is true. From

“The wine glass engraved

“You’re not really drinking alone if your kids are home”

Or the flowery fridge magnet chuckling

 “The most expensive part of having kids is all the wine you have to drink.”

 All the messages we’re surrounded by, are its safe to drink alcohol. The message is by drinking we’re fighting against the constant pressure that society expects us to be perfect Mothers. And who would not want an escape from that awful pressure!

 

Amelia wrote an article about her drinking

So Amelia did lots of research to try and understand what was going on. She found that in the UK in 2009 it was reported that the most significant trend was women drinking more. She found people encouraging Mothers to drink so they would not  be seen as a tiger or helicopter Mum.

She wrote an article about her research.

 

The secret shame

Amelia had to think long and about publishing the article on her drinking. She felt shame about her drinking. The problem was she was not that horrible label “alcoholic”, but she had given up drinking. So she did not want to appear sanctimonious or look like she was judging people.  She felt pressure to stay quiet about her healthy life choice. But finally, she decided to publish to see if she could start a conversation.

As she states

“The attitude is:

‘If you don’t have a problem with it, why do you have a problem with it?’”

But if we don’t talk about it, how do we know if we have a problem?”

It’s well worth while reading the full article which you can find  here

If you found this post interesting you might also enjoy BeanyNeamy’s story here.

Enjoy your summer drinking without the hangover

Hope you’re enjoying this pretty special hot weather run as we finally see the media start to cover the serious downsides of summer drinking.

 

Ryanair encouraging Summer drinking

Ryanair came under criticism for their ad which suggested getting drunk on holidays is a rite of passage.

Summer drinking
“To all #LeavingCert and #ALevel students: plan your dream summer holiday now so you have something to look forward to,”

Then rather cynically and hypocritically they made a call for booze to be banned from airports. As one headline put it

“Booze up on holidays, but not on our planes”.

It really shows how big companies don’t have our interests at heart. It’s all about making profit no matter what the cost to us.

 

Boozing in the Barge

There was also coverage of a problem in Dublin’s Portobello with crowds of people drinking around the Barge pub leaving rubbish behind and urinating in public. Residents took to barricading the street. More details here.

 

Summer Drinking, Drinking, drinking

RTE Prime Time did a show on balconing in summer climates. This is where a person climbs from one balcony to another or dives from an apartment into a pool. In Majorca alone, this month five people died. Usually the person doing the jump or dive has been drinking  alcohol. You can see the RTE trailer  here with some very disturbing videos

 

Leaving Cert Summer Drinking

This was followed up by a big report  in the Irish Times on that summer drinking rite of passage- the Leaving Cert holiday. One teenager described a day’s  drinking. Starting on the 4am bus to Dublin airport, 4 pints,10 plus local beers, a litre of vodka, a  cocktail bottle and Sambuca shots were consumed. Obviously this teenager was unaware of the dangers of alcohol poisoning or the longer term alcohol harm. With this type of drinking it’s no wonder the youngest Irish person diagnosed with alcohol related cirrhosis of the liver was a young girl aged just 18.

 

A chink of light

In this alcohol soaked culture, one good piece of news though, is the Public Health Alcohol Bill has finally got through the committee stage of the Oireachtas. (Irish parliament) Now it goes to Report and final Stage, hopefully in the autumn. This bill is the first step in changing the culture around alcohol. For the first time, alcohol will have clear warning labels about the risks to our health. if you’d like to sign a petition to support the bill, click here.

 

So how to control that summer drinking?

A key thing is to make sure you drink plenty of liquid of the non-alcoholic type. At a friend’s event last night, they produced an ice cold jug of water with mint leaves and it was really lovely. Mint is very easy to grow in your garden – preferably in a pot as it can take over.

 

Alcohol Free cocktails

If you’d prefer something with a bit more zing, Lucy has some good suggestions. From a citrus iced tea, to Pina Colada and Virgin Mojito. Full recipes here.

You can also find suggestions on lower alcohol drinks here.

 

Planning an alcohol free holiday?

If you’re going the whole hog, and decide you’re not drinking at all then Lucy’s tips for planning a happy alcohol free holiday will be useful. Click here.

 

Valerie’s top tips on holiday drinking

Or maybe you just want to cut back on your summer drinking. Then Valerie’s tips on controlling your drinking will come in handy and allow you to enjoy your drinking without the hangover. Click here for details

 

Finally a key thing to remember is just like drinking and driving don’t mix, neither do drinking and swimming.

PS

Telling people you’re going swimming later is also a great way to avoid pressure to drink.

 

 

Alan feels the stigma of drinking too much

There’s so much stigma about drinking too much. We tend to label people who drink too much as down and out. They’re the old man on a park bench, clothes tied together with string, smelling bad, drinking from a paper bag and shouting abuse at people passing by. This stigma of “being an alcoholic”  stops people admitting they have a problem with alcohol and need to drink less.

 

The secret entrepreneur

That’s why I was so pleased to read a recent series of columns by the Secret Entrepreneur, in the Sunday Business Post. This was written by a young man, who set up his own  business – a start up,  here in Ireland. He raised substantial funding and for a while it looked like the sky was the limit. The company was in over 100 cities. We’ll call the Secret Entrepreneur, Alan.

 

Family history

Alan had a family history of drinking too much. His Grandfather died from alcohol and it contributed to the early death of his Father at just 49.

At 24, a year or so into his start up, Alan realised he had a problem with drink. He lasted about a month without drinking. then his relationship broke up. Several times he tried to control his drinking- without success.

 

Work did not help

The start up culture has a heavy alcohol influence. Many start up’s see providing a fridge of beers with a gumball machine as normal. At the end of a a long day, it’s a way to relax and socialise together. A reward for employees going above the call of duty. Or to celebrate big events like the first major customer. Not taking part in drinking isolates people from the team and feeling connected.(more details here)

 

Friends did not help

Alan  found people “did not get it”. When he complained of hangovers, they said stuff like

“Ah, sure, have another one, hair of the dog. It’s the only way”.

People often  don’t know what to say when you admit to hangovers or drinking too much. There’s just so much stigma about drinking too much.

 

The Americans think we’re a nation of drunks

When Alan relocated to the States, he found his American colleagues only had 2 or 3 drinks a night.  To them that was a “mad night out”.  Alan felt the pressure to be the life and soul of the party. Visitors loved meeting him for a few drinks- a good night out. But while that was one night for them, it became three of four nights for him. Whenever he made a fool of himself the Americans would say,

“Oh you’re Irish, its okay

Beanyneamy tells a similar story about the Irish being seen as drunks  here.

 

Despite the drinking, success continued

Despite all the drinking, 10 years later, Alan succeeded in selling his company to a major multinational, who also gave him a job. However it turned out to be a dead end. His drinking got worse and he ended up in a really humiliating position after another drunken night.

 

He quit alcohol

So Alan quit the booze. He put his energies elsewhere. Into writing a book about his Father. He took up playing football again. Each week he made small tweaks to his lifestyle. The most important thing he did was tell himself giving up alcohol was the best decision he had ever made. It was a positive decision rather than a negative decision.An important tip for anyone trying to manage their drinking, as we describe here.

 

What’s in the future?

Alan’s no longer with his start up his start up. He  got made redundant a few months after giving up the booze. But because he was mentally prepared to deal with it, he was ok. He does not miss drinking at the moment and he’s not saying he’ll never drink again. He’s just living for each day as it comes and enjoying life.

Alan’s story is well worth reading here. (A subscription to the Sunday Business Post is required)

 

Let’s reduce the stigma about drinking too much

I admire Alan for telling his story so honestly. Even though, he’s not disclosed his name publicly, in the start-up community he will be known. The more people like him Francis, Alison, Aoife and Valerie come forward and tell their stories the more we reduce the stigma about drinking too much. Instead of labelling and blaming people as “bad” or “alcoholics” we start seeing real decent people with feelings and emotions just like you and me. People who need help not judgement. We’ll also start challenging our culture which encourages people to drink too much and stigmatises them when they do.

 

What’s your story?

Everyone’s story is unique. Does n’t matter whether you’re a cleaner, a top Entrepreneur like Alan or a Mother who works in the home. You are not alone in being someone who struggles with drinking too much. Don’t let the stigma about drinking too much get to you. Just like Alan, you too can have a brighter future, no matter how dark it appears at the moment.

If you”re starting to control your drinking, you might find this post here useful.

If you’d like to quickly check if you have an alcohol problem you might find this post here useful. (No names or email address needed)

 

Forgiving yourself for drinking too much is vital

It may sound strange but forgiving yourself for drinking too much is vital to taking control of your drinking. Many people who drink too much often feel a deep sense of shame. People of my generation will also have a good ould dose of Catholic guilt, making things even worse.  People think about the time they made an eejit of themselves at the office outing. Or were n’t able to bring the kids to the park as promised because of a hangover. So they become buried in  shame rather then focusing on what needs to change.

 

Release your heavy burden

By forgiving yourself, you release yourself from the heavy burden of self-judgement, guilt or regret. It is this very burden that often makes people drink more as they try to block out these horrible feelings of shame and remorse. It literally becomes too painful to sit with the feelings so they drink to block out the feelings. So forgiving yourself correctly is key and you can also learn something very valuable too.

 

How to start

First of all think about the event or incident that you need to forgive yourself for. Maybe you were so lost in your own drama and suffering that you did not recognise the damage you may have caused to others. Certainly in our culture, with our acceptance of heavy drinking this may be the case. So if you did not have the insight, you have now, how could you have acted differently?

 

A key question

But maybe despite having insights that you’re drinking too much, you still continue to drink and harm yourselves or others. So a key question to ask is what you have learned from these “mistakes”. The ancient Chinese don’t have a word for mistakes. The closest English translation is “learning opportunity”.  So referring to drinking too much as  “mistakes” sets us up for a big fall. Yet, so many treatment approaches to drinking seem to punish people for making mistakes.

 

Many alcohol treatments encourage shame

I read a recent article on an Irish addiction treatment centre which uses the “Minnesota” model. This treatment model is based on the AA method and sees success as not drinking at all. The language used creates shame. Residents are asked to admit they are powerless over alcohol and ask forgiveness of others for their “shortcomings”.No mention of forgiving themselves. Residents  urine is tested for traces of alcohol. At mealtimes, they stayed quiet, apart from one lady standing up to read a few lines about the impact of alcohol addiction.

No where in the article does it quote treatment  success rates. For example, the percentage of people  attending the centre whose lives are better as a result of staying in this centre.

 

Toddlers don’t shame themselves

Watching a child learn to walk is a good example of how we should treat ourselves.  Toddlers usually crawl first, then they start taking tiny little steps. hanging for dear life onto chairs, tables, the nearest available hand. They fall down. They may cry or laugh but they get back up again and slowly they become steadier on their feet. Then they stop falling. They learn from every fall. They don’t tell themselves they’re stupid, or shameful for falling. We seem to learn that kind of thinking later as adults.

 

We don’t shame toddlers

When we see toddlers falling, we don’t give out to them. We praise and encourage. We help them up again. It’s one reason, why they don’t give up. They keep trying, until finally, we’re the ones chasing around after them and trying to keep up with their running.

 

Don’t punish yourself

So next time you drink too much, you have four choices.

  1. Do nothing
  2. Repeat too much drinking again
  3. Beat yourself up for not being perfect and being able to control your drinking
  4. Forgive yourself and learn from what happened.

Of these four choices, the one that is most likely to help you is choice 4. Forgiving yourself and learning from what happened. What happened that made you drink too much? What was the payoff or benefit to you? (We’ll cover these in a future post)

For example

You were with friends and could not say no without feeling awkward. In this case you might find this post here useful.

If your feelings drove you to drink, you might find this post  here helpful.

Or you’ve realised you can’t do this on your own and you need more help. You might find this post here helpful.

 

Try forgiving yourself for drinking too much

So forgive yourself, accept what happened. Then find the learning in what happened and you’ll be further down the road to controlling your drinking.