Category: Personal stories

Pancreatitis and alcohol. My painful story

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Personal stories

Pancreatitis is caused by gallstones or alcohol. Many people are aware that too much alcohol can cause liver damage. However most people are unaware that alcohol can also cause pancreatitis. A  really painful life threatening condition which I’ve have the misfortune to have.

 

A gallstone wreaks havoc

Regular readers will be aware of my trip to the Emergency department in an ambulance, which I wrote about here.

Turned out I had pancreatitis caused by a tiny little gallstone (which I did not know I had) travelling into my pancreas and wreaking havoc to the extent bits of my pancreas starting dying off. (Called acute necrotising pancreatitis)

 

Is the pancreas important?

Yes is the short answer. It converts the food we eat into fuel cells. If you can’t digest your food, without medical help you will die. Pancreatitis is an inflammation of the pancreas which reduces or stops the pancreas ability to process food. So the pancreas is essential.

 

I can’t breath

As well as the really severe stomach pain (think labour pains if you have ever gone through this), I now can’t breathe. This is really scary as I’ve never had lung problems.  Even after major operations, I’ve never needed oxygen for more than a couple of hours. So now I get oxygen through a tube in my nose.  An unwelcome partner to the drip stuck in my arm.

 

There’s no magic bullet treatment for pancreatitis

There’s no quick fix for pancreatitis. Treatment supports the functions of the body until the inflammation in the pancreas dies down. In my case blood tests were taken every day and depending on results, extra supplements are put in the drip.

 

Smelly diarrhoea

With strong pain relief, I’m able to think about eating again. The dietician explains the  low fibre diet I now need. But even sticking to this, every time I eat, about 10 minutes later, I end up in severe pain on the toilet with nasty, vile smelling diarrhoea. Then an hour or two lying on the bed totally exhausted and only for the oxygen drip, I would not be able to breath.

 

They won’t treat the diarrhoea

The doctor says that although they can stop the diarrhoea, they need to make sure I’m not suffering from malnutrition so they won’t give me anything to stop it. So they start me on Creon tables which replace the enzymes my pancreas is no longer producing.

 

Learning how to breathe again

The physio starts teaching me how to breath properly again. Apparently the pain and inflammation means  my stomach organs are now pressing on my lungs. I’m breathing far too shallowly and that’s why I’m so out of breath. They give me what looks like a child‘s toy and I have to breath into the tube and try and make the balls go to the top. (See picture above) The first time I can lift one ball a tiny little bit before collapsing.

 

Despite not being able to breath, I’m told get out of bed.

The doctor tells me, I have to stay out of bed as much as possible and walk at least four times a day. This is vital to me getting better.  All I want to do is lie on the bed. However  I force myself. Between the diarrhoea and total exhaustion I  walk and also use the ball toy at least once every hour.

 

I feel really sorry for myself but think of Joanne

I feel really sorry for myself, but use a lot of visualisation.  When I walk, I try to believe I’m no longer in a hospital corridor full of beeping medical equipment and really sick people. I imagine myself strong, healthy and walking  in the beautiful Dublin mountains with the wind in my face and  the unique smell of gorse bushes.

I also think of 21 year old Joanne O Riordan  the young campaigner born without any limbs. She’s such a strong, funny, positive, feisty person. She has already helped change people lives by helping to reverse cuts to disability payments. If she can rise above the obstacles in her life so can I.

 

It takes two weeks

It takes a while before the right Creon dosage is reached. I still have to stay on a low fibre diet.

In total I was in hospital for two long weeks, before finally I was well enough to come home. Even then I can’t  drive. I’m too weak and exhausted.

I go back in 6 weeks later  to have the cause of my misery, my gallbladder removed. They only do this when the inflammation dies down. Otherwise as the surgeon says it’s like vacuuming up bits of confetti and surgery is much more complicated. In my case it was keyhole surgery and an absolute doodle compared to the pancreatitis.

 

8 months later

8 months later, I still have to take tablets to eat. I’ve improved as I no longer have to take a tablet for a dry snack.  But any meals I have to take two tablets.  Although I‘ve moved off the low fibre diet, I know certain foods will set off the diarrhoea again. No more spicy Indian meals. Even too many chocolate raisins and I’ll be rushing to the toilet.  I hate being so particular about what and where I eat and having to take  tablets in public when I’m in a restaurant.

 

The doctor tells me I’m doing really well. The mental impact will take a little longer to heal though.

 

Good medical treatment

I’m lucky that I got really good treatment, doctors, physios, nurses, dieticians are terrific. When I move to the private hospital, the catering manager even discusses what meals will work for me and tells me to scribble whatever I want on the daily menu, they will make it up especially for me. They all play an essential part in my recovery. But it’s sad that private health insurance is essential to treatment dignity, eating and sleeping properly. As I mentioned here I was unable to sleep in the public hospital ward due to staff testing equipment at night.

 

The future

The doctor says I may have to stay on these tablets for the rest of my life. Most people with a severe case like I had generally do. If I want to come off the tablets, there’s no exact formula and it’s trial and error. He recommends waiting another 2 months before even trying to reduce the dosage.

I also still find I get exhausted really quickly. But for the GP Chinese medicine specialist, I saw I don’t think I’d even have this level of energy.

 

 

Things that make a difference

I’m still optimistic, it will just take time and effort. I’m trying to do all the things that make a difference. Like sticking to a mainly healthy diet, exercise, plenty of rest, chinese medicine,  and saying no to work opportunities.

I’m minding my mental health with regular mediation and remembering to remain “mindful”. I try to stay away from negative people and don’t listen to the news as much. I only watch happy or light TV programmes.

It seems to be working and it strikes me that these things are all very  relevant if you’re trying to reduce your drinking.

 

What about alcohol though?

It’s frustrating the way the same certain questions kept getting asked over and over again. We’re all familiar with different health care professionals asking the same questions 6 or 7 times.

Only once though do they ask about my alcohol use. Even though too much alcohol causes about 25% of pancreatitis cases. As we’ve mentioned before, drinking too much alcohol is not taken seriously in our health care system.

I don’t dare drink alcohol. I don’t miss it. The memory of my illness is still too vivid. Despite my very serious illness, one or two of my friends still don’t like the fact that I don’t drink. I don’t let it get to me.

 

Got gallbladder stones?

Many middle aged women have gallstones. Some like me don’t even know they have them, because they have no symptoms. Gallstones are the biggest cause of pancreatitis.  After that too much alcohol is the next biggest cause.

So if you have gallbladder stones, staying within the recommended drinking limits is really important.

You can find out more about these limits in our free course here.

If you want to know more about pancreatitis this link here to the NHS is good.

 

 

 

Irvine likes a couple of beers, but can’t live in Ireland as it’s too difficult

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Personal stories, Social Life

Irvine Welsh the celebrity film director of Trainspotting likes a couple of beers. He’s in the news again because he’s just produced a new novel “The Blade Artist” and a sequel to his famous movie Trainspotting.

In an interview with the Sunday Business Post, Irvine recounts his time spent taking a range of drugs and six happy years living in Dublin.  He apparently spent a lot of time flushing drugs down Dublin toilets. Trainspotting fans kept giving him drugs as the film is about drugs! At that stage after three transitions he was no longer taking drugs.

 

 Irvine likes a couple of beers

Irvine is  now into healthy living, he works out and eats well. Except when he’s in Dublin or Scotland. He finds when he’s in Dublin or Scotland he drinks too much. And he gets less work done.

He told the interviewer

“In Chicago when friends say “Let’s go out for a couple”  They mean a couple of beers, as opposed to a couple of days. They mean two beers and then you go home.”

 

Binge drinking is normal in Ireland

Irvine’s views are supported by the research. According to the Health Research Board we have the second highest rate of binge drinking in the world. Over 75% of the alcohol we drink is drunk in a binge drinking session.

 

What can we do to reduce binge drinking?

First, be aware of the number of drinks which are binge drinking. Six  standard drinks or more as you can see in the image below.

couple of beers

 

Second, sit out a round, make every second or third drink a glass of water.

Third, choose drinks which have less alcohol in them.  For example Low alcohol beers or wines with less alcohol.

You can find plenty more tips on reducing alcohol harm in our free online course here.

 

Yeah, I’m happy with my place in life

So Irvine now lives in Chicago, it’s

“… Great for me, because it means I get on with more work and drink less”

And he says he’s happy with his place in life.

“If you’d offered it to me back then, I’d have taken it”

 

We’re losing out

So Ireland loses a great talent because our culture does not accept normal drinking as a “couple of beers”.

Wonder how many other great talents are wasted because we’re drinking too much?

 

You can see the full interview with Irvine here. (Subscription required)

I stopped drowning out the noise of life with a glass of wine

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Personal stories

I stopped drowning out the noise of life with a glass of wine

A glass of wine was my answer to all my problems until I discovered quietness within the mind. It has a value far beyond what words can make meaning of. To me it seems like a universal goal, especially in a modern world of noise and nonsense. A world which seems to pride itself on success through the form of material possession when ultimately possession of internal peace and serenity of the mind and soul is where, for most, moments of true happiness lie.

 

I needed to slow down and trust

As a society we seem to sprint towards immediate gratification rather than allow ourselves time to understand the marathon which is life, not to be endured but rather to be lived within the realm of

Hope

Love

Trust

Contentment.

 

Can such a  happy life exist?

I strive towards these four pillars, which I observe as progression of self and thus personal strength and success. My natural reaction in the past and admittedly sometimes in the present was to drown out the noise of life with a glass of wine. The more noise I would hear within my world the more likely I was to pour another glass of wine, drowning my mind with a short lived forgetfulness.

 

I decided to write

One evening, I decided that instead of blocking the noise I would welcome it into my mind and then expel it onto a page. Every anxiety I perpetuated, every discord with a colleague, every insecurity and failure I held close to my heart. As I spilled my worrying soul onto blank pages my mind began to ease, to calm, to relax, my body began to loosen but yet felt stronger.

 

I slept soundly

I had lessened the noise by actually listening to it and accepting its presence. By doing so I began to release myself from its clutches. That night I slept more soundly than I thought possible.

Armed with a cup of tea and my thoughts, diligently I created a routine each evening. Time specifically for myself. Writing towards a peaceful mind, allowing positive thoughts to eventually earn a majority within my mind, opening up a realm of hope which I thought may never exist for me. A hope brought about through my dedication and loyalty in understanding myself. The quietness within my mind came and with it the beginnings of trust, love, hope and contentment of which I sought. Through writing I learned to listen, I learned to value myself.

 

Editor’s Note

Psychological research shows writing your thoughts and feelings down is a great way to better mental health. Why not buy a nice hard cover copy book in one of the discount stores and get started?

You could even get your writing published on this website. Find out more here.

Does alcohol abuse run in families?

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Mental health, Personal stories

As an adult child of a Mother who drank too much I was no stranger to the effects alcohol abuse had within my family.  My childhood experience of my mother was marred by her daily drinking and punctuated by short lived periods of sobriety.

 

There was no history of alcohol abuse

It is important to note that my mother did not have a history of alcohol abuse in her family.  She developed chronic depression after the death of my sister in 1973. And after years of struggling to cope with her death and being told

“that is was Gods will”

and she

“needed to get over it”,

she succumbed to alcohol abuse in a bid to cope with that loss.  My mother was first introduced to alcohol at a work function.

 

My Mother was a high performing sales manager

Contrary to popular belief, my mother was not an unemployed fall-down-drunk.  She worked as the sales manager for a publication firm.  She was what I later learned to be  “a high functioning Alcoholic”.  In fact, in my mother’s 30-year long career she rarely missed a day of work because of her drinking.  She was a master at hiding her love affair with alcohol to the outside world.

 

At home, however…

A memory that sticks out in my mind as a child was watching the bus-stop across the road from our house while waiting for my mother to come home.  When she came in she was the Mother I wanted to spend time with. I wanted to be seen and loved by this beautiful lady, and for a brief hour before she pulled the cork out of that bottle in the drinks cabinet, she was all that, elegant, refined, witty, and kind.

 

My heart would sink

The minute I saw her reach into that oak cabinet, my heart would sink, it was when I knew that the evening was destined to go horribly wrong.  I would feel my belly flip, my mouth go dry with worry, I was acutely aware of the glug glug glug of the gin spilling out into a crystal tumbler.  Every evening I would try my best to distract her, fighting for her attention, and each time was always sent away to play with the words

“later darling, mommy needs to relax”.

 

It became futile to try and talk to her

After a while it became futile to try and talk to her. She slid further and further away from me with each glass. I would be engulfed with worry and sadness.  A short while later my Dad would come home.  At first, he wouldn’t say anything, but myself and my three brothers knew! We just knew my Father was disappointed and that potentially there would be an argument, a dinner ruined, crying, doors slamming and horrible tense silences.

 

The Elephant in the room

No one dared challenge my Mother, not while she was drinking and most certainly not the next morning.  We would tell her what she said and what she did.  We were told that we were lying and she would cry and we felt responsible.  My dad would shout, call her names, and us? We would take cover in the bedroom at the end of the hall and try and distract ourselves from the arguments, the banged doors, the futility of it all.  Not only were we not allowed to discuss my mother’s drinking with her, we were not allowed to let anyone outside of the home know what was going on behind closed doors.

 

I became my Mother’s carer

I became my Mother’s carer. While she was drinking, I would make sure she wouldn’t hurt herself.  I became her confidant, her friend, her Mother.  We were all affected by my Mother’s drinking. My brothers all reacted differently.  My brother Ciaran became rebellious and angry, Brendan was the clown and Dara, poor Dara the quiet one. It is fair to say that due to my Mother’s depression and subsequent alcohol abuse my Mother for those years was emotionally unavailable and absent to us.  My Father had lost his wife too and I remember him being a lonely man.  We had to grow up fast.  Emotional hostages to something we neither understood or could fix.

 

Editor’s Note

SouthLady beautifully describes the impact a Mother’s alcohol abuse often has on families.  But once again we see the pattern of pain behind the alcohol abuse. If Southlady’s Mother’s had received loving support and empathy around the pain of losing a daughter, her alcohol abuse would probably have stopped. She was most likely using alcohol to numb her grief. (Often called self-medication)

 

Are genes to blame?

While some types of genes have been linked to alcohol abuse, the exact process is not fully understood.

Pain and grief in families  is very common factor in  alcohol abuse. But it is not inevitable. It appears the more “adverse childhood events” or “ACE”  we have  the more likely we are to have a physical or substance abuse problem.

While SouthLady herself had an alcohol abuse problem, she made a full recovery because the pain behind her alcohol abuse was tackled.

 

Don’t blame yourself

So don’t blame yourself if you are finding it difficult to reduce your drinking. Instead focus on your mental health. Ask yourself if depression, past events or trauma in your life may be affecting your desire to drink?

You might find our Janus course useful which helps to identify the pros and cons’ drinking useful.  Or if you think a counsellor might be helpful, here’s some tips here on finding the right one for you.

Us Irish are in a long term relationship with alcohol

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Personal stories

Us Irish and our relationship with alcohol could be described like this:

“In a long term relationship with alcohol and one that is extremely securely attached.”

As human beings, why is our attachment to alcohol so enduring? Is it because we love the taste of it? The price of it? The hangovers? The effect on our behaviour, our relationships, our lives…..

 

What exactly draws us to alcohol?

What exactly is it that draws us to it? For so many, on a weekly basis or even a daily basis for some of us. And why do so many of us  –  of all ages – teenagers, 20,30, 40 somethings – tend to reach for a drink so often, so repetitively, so habitually  in answer to a stressful or tough day or situation we have experienced?

 

Is it a coping mechanism for life?

It appears it is our tendency to reach for the bottle in times of stress and strain and  use  it as a coping mechanism for life – that lead us to having an overly familiar relationship with alcohol that could also very well be  described as overly dependent, reliant and on our part, clingy…..ouch!

 

Alcohol is stress relief

Long before words like ‘stress relief’ or phrases such as ‘stress reducer’ were being used – we humans had long worked out that alcohol changed our state of being.  And as alcohol is both a sedative and a depressant – when consumed, there is an immediate effect on our central nervous system. What this translates to us is – any feeling can suddenly appear reduced. A mind can be taken away from trouble. A problem can be forgotten about for a while. Nerves can be steadied.  A shy teenager can find their voice…..

 

Our relationship with alcohol helps us check out of reality

So not only is the average alcoholic beverage  a liquid that induces a state of intoxication –  it is  also often viewed as a  friend, a counsellor, a way of checking out from reality, something that is used to cope with situations, with life, with relationships and tough times.

As human beings we flail around a lot of the time. Not exactly sure what we are doing – in life, in love, in relationships. Things happen. Unfair things. Tough life events. And at times it can be really hard to cope.

 

Alcohol is the “medicine” to our pain

And alcohol has become, to so many of us, the ‘medicine’ to our pain. How many of us are sitting at home or in bars, with others or alone and self-medicating with alcohol?  How many of us across the country feel, at times,  so overwhelmed with life and all that goes with it and are reaching for alcohol hoping to just check out for a while or just to feel differently to how we do right now…

When we can acknowledge that we view alcohol as a ‘medicine’ to our ‘symptom’ – then our unhealthy relationship with alcohol is exposed. And that is not a bad thing. Self-awareness never is.

 

Our relationship with alcohol has become toxic

It may be time for some of us to admit that somewhere along the line, our view of alcohol has changed from being just that – an alcoholic drink – to the answer to our problems. Or for others perhaps, it is time to acknowledge that using alcohol to deal with stress and problems has always been our unhealthy coping mechanism.

 

There are no answers in alcohol

The tough truth for so many of us is that there are no answers in alcohol. There is no true soothing or stress relief. There is nothing that will relieve or heal. In fact consuming alcohol as a coping mechanism to deal with life and stress is not only unhealthy and damaging but without doubt, not offering any resolutions to our original stresses, problems or issues. Perhaps only adding to them.

 

Alcohol may help in the short term but in the long term it makes things worse

If we attempt to binge drink our problems away, it can cause us to experience blackouts, memory loss and anxiety. Long term drinking has been linked to diseases such as breast cancer, permanent brain damage, serious mental health problems and alcohol dependence according to the World Health Organisation.

So while alcohol may help deal with stress in the short term, in the long run it can contribute to serious health implications, feelings of depression and anxiety and make stresses and problems of life harder to deal with.

 

Take a look at your relationship with alcohol

Of course, not everyone who drinks needs to make a change or find themselves drinking in answer to stress or issues in their lives. However it is always a good idea for anyone who drinks regularly to take a close look at their relationship with alcohol and see if it is time to make changes and find healthier ways of dealing with life’s inevitable complications and pressures. The best part of finding new healthier ways of coping? – They can all come hangover free! Yay!

 

Editor’s Note

You can check out whether your drinking is likely to cause you problems in the future with our 3 quick questions here.

One reason our drinking is increasing is due to very effective advertising. You can find out how you’re being brainwashed into drinking more here.

David ruined the wedding drinking too much

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Personal stories, The big picture, Uncategorised

A relative of mine ruined a family wedding  drinking too much. Let’s call him David. He got too loud, too boisterous, too aggressive. Arguments were had. Tears were shed.

 

Everyone was upset including David

The next day everyone was very upset. David was remorseful, cloaked in shame and regret. Those affected were in turn angry and saddened. David was ignored for a  while.
At the time, David admitted to me,  he was using drinking as a crutch. He  was using alcohol (self-medicating) to get  through a difficult time.   He was picking up the bottle rather than visiting a  GP or a counsellor.

 

David stopped drinking and people were supportive – at first

When people learned  David had stopped drinking in an attempt to address the problems that had caused the excessive drinking, everyone was very supportive. For a time. Soon it was Christmas and people began to ask if he would be having a drink. They  expressed surprise, disappointment even, when he said no.

Was he sure he didn’t want a drink?

Just one?

These were the same people who had been so disgraced by his alcohol induced behaviour at the wedding.

 

Relatives bought a crate of beer as a gift

After some time, David felt able to start drinking again, in smaller amounts, and usually just at home. When his birthday came around, relatives bought him a crate of beer as a gift. Relatives who had been at the wedding and had been appalled at his behaviour.

 

We need to support people who are trying to drink less

We need to see that posts on Facebook about ‘wine o’clock’ normalise binge drinking. We need to understand that giving alcohol as a gift can lead to drinking to excess. We need to support people who are trying to drink less.

wedding drinking

we need to stop the

‘ ah, go on you will’

Mrs Doyle inspired method of offering people a drink. We need to understand  celebrations and alcohol need not go hand in hand.

We have made many steps forward in our attitudes towards drinking. But we still need to exercise caution. Most of all we need to listen and support those who are making the brave step of trying to reduce their drinking.

 

 

Editors Note

This story really shows why it can be so difficult to drink less in Ireland.

If you’re worried about going to a wedding drinking too much, you’ll find some free good advice here.

Yesterday,  the official reports show Irish drinking has increased in 2016. So we’ve a long way to go. See here for details.

 

Stand clear & don’t trampoline with alcohol

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Personal stories, The big picture

It’s Saturday night and I’m in St. Vincent’s accident & emergency. 48 hours of severe vomiting, retching, raised temperature & increasing pain mean the Dundrum swift care clinic suspect I have sepsis from the autoimmune medication I’m on. This stuff means I can walk & have a high quality life. The side effects are many though, including sepsis which if not treated properly  is invariably fatal.

It’s just a little food poisoning

Dundrum insist on an ambulance transfer. Scary.  Sirens screeching.Crashing traffic lights.  I feel worse. In all my illnesses, I ve never had an emergency ambulance. The ambulance guys are funny. They tell me I’m only in the ambulance because the  Dundrum people want to go home. They ask the name of the Indian restaurant I’ve eaten  in. We all agree we ‘re not eating there. I feel better, though a little stupid with all the fuss. It’s just a little food poisoning. Hopefully with some fluids & pain relief I”ll be home soon.

Crown jewels on display

We’re directed to A6. Oh good I think. I’ve got a cubicle. A6 though is just a spot with a A4 page, saying it’s A6 along the wall. Beside the drugs dispensary door & the electronic rattling shute that carries blood samples away. There’s so much stress & tension in the air. Dignified frail gentle ladies with blood stained bandages, aggressive women shouting for the nurses. Doctors taking deeply personal details from frightened people  out in the open. Constantly interrupted as people move beds & equipment around them. A carer sits out outside  a cubicle, oblivious that his charge has thrown off his blanket & is now displaying his crown jewels to the world passing by. It’s like I’m now in an alternative world where the words listen, dignity and respect don’t exist.

A little blue bag is my best friend

None of the Dundrum recommendations about pain relief & intraveneous fluids are followed though. Just questions, the same repetitive questions over & over & over.  Luckily my family have arrived as I’m now in so much pain it hurts to talk. They answer the questions over & over & keep asking  about pain relief. No.Blood tests first. No. Temperature first. Then finally paracetamol. Family protest I won’t keep down. Nurse insists I take. I promptly vomit back up into the cute little blue bag which has become my best friend. It allows me to retch &  vomit without soiling myself or  bothering anybody. Though thankfully the family insist on helping to support my head. That’s how weak I am. 3 long tense,noisy, hours in, still no fluids or pain relief.

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A glass of red wine has character but so do we

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Personal stories

There are moments in life when we feel less than positive, when the glass of red wine seems to be the answer.  An easy option to relax. To avoid facing problems head on and to distract ourselves.

Distractions come in many forms for many people. But sometimes the struggle is easier delayed and ignored with the use of alcohol.

 

Red wine as a coping mechanism

Alcohol is a tool which has been used as a coping mechanism for years and in many lifetimes. Laughter for some and tears for others are a form of release. A momentary method to cope with the tension of life. The tension we may hold within ourselves easier avoided rather than confronted. It is often too easy to render thoughts forgotten and the power of alcohol can aid many a mind throughout such an endeavour.

 

That mellow feeling late in the evening

Late in the evening, a glass of red wine can seem a convenient companion. A fellow soldier in the battle of life, my life. A war which can seem never ending during a difficult period. The mellow feeling it brings eases my hand towards the bottle after each glass. My thoughts seem less controlled by struggle. I’m more appeased with the floating sensation of a world where with help from my trusted compadre I can tackle my issues and as quickly forget them.  I have moments where alone at home, my  mind feels less conflicted and my body more relaxed. The problems I  face seem less daunting, more manageable.

 

I can see a solution

I can see a solution where I could not before. Revelations occur, a relaxed discipline to overcome my issues with strength and courage. This enlightenment can come with certain consequences. Another glass of red wine, another bottle possibly, a celebration for my mature realisation that I can survive the difficulties of life, overcome and conquer.

 

I am once again a soldier alone

The next morning, I wake to a headache, a heavy heart and wonder where all the courage and gained knowledge of the previous night has gone. I reprimand myself. The problems I have are still upon me and now the added pressure of a hangover. The red wine, my friend, my companion has abandoned me. I am once again a soldier alone.

 

But alone I am not

But alone I am not! The thoughts, strength and guidance I sought through red wine was never it’s to give. Those thoughts, that strength, the guidance was always mine. The peace I found was ever present. The time alone, the safety of my home, the candles I lit, the book I read by the fire. The peace I allowed myself gave me the answers. The moments I allowed myself offered a sense of endurance. A resilience found within me, not within an empty red wine bottle.

Alcohol can be a welcome distraction to our problems but the answers we seek are waiting to be found within us. Let’s give ourselves the opportunity to remember them. Red wine has character, but so do we.

 

 Editor’s Note

If you’re in the first steps at looking at your drinking you might  find this useful.

Another horrendous hangover so I decided to stay away from alcohol

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Personal stories

On the 27th of December last year, after experiencing another horrendous hangover, I made a very strong (and emotional) vow to “stay away from alcohol for a while.”

 

I was going to take a little  break from the horrendous hangover

Of course I wasn’t going to go overboard by vowing that I would never touch alcohol again.That would have been ridiculously dramatic! Besides, that had never worked before.  No, I was just going to take a little break from it – mostly for my mental and physical health. But more importantly, to see if I actually could stay from alcohol for a while.

 

 I had drunk regularly for 20 years

Since starting drinking in my teens, I had never really had a break from alcohol  at all. At most, perhaps for a couple of weeks but realistically for 2 decades drinking alcohol was something I did all too regularly.

 

I had n’t realised the damage I was doing to myself

I had mistook alcohol for my go to girl after a tough day, a tough week, a tough conversation….anything well…. tough!  However I also drank to celebrate, to commiserate and in sympathy – with myself or with others if need be.  Notably, from my teens on, I drank in all the wrong ways too. From drinking without food in my stomach to drinking far too much in one session. From mixing very inappropriate drinks all together to plainly just drinking to get drunk.

I had absolutely woven the practice of drinking into the fabric of my life without releasing the significance or the impact.

 

I did not actually miss not drinking

And yet until I tried, I never really believed I could be this person who did not drink. Someone who could take a break from alcohol for a while, actually not miss it and see very clearly the benefits of not drinking.

Almost a year in, I feel physically and mentally healthier and stronger.

Not only have I gained healthier perspectives towards alcohol, I have gained more hangover free time. No more days wasted due to a  horrendous hangover. I have more energy and more peace of mind.

Not drinking means I am taking better care of my health and really learning to practice self-care.

Instead of relying on alcohol to de-stress and relax – I have had to learn and find other ways of doing this which has actually brought so much joy.

 

It does take time and effort but it is worth it.

It takes time and a little getting used to living life and engaging in situations without alcohol. However for me, it has changed my life in a truly significantly positive way.  I am hand on heart, happier for doing it. My days wasted on  a  horrendous hangover are a distant memory.

If you are considering ‘taking a break from alcohol for a while’ – let me confirm – from someone who never says never – there is nothing to lose and all to gain.

 

Editor’s Note

Cindy’s approach of taking it a day at a time can work very well for some people. That way you don’t feel like you’re putting too much pressure on yourself and making a really big decision.

The key point is to pick a drinking goal that works for you as everyone is different.  You can check out your reasons for drinking too much here and this will help you find what’s right for you.

We’ll also have more tips on this in our next post so make sure you don’t miss out by signing up for our weekly ezine here.