Tag: Alcohol

5 Key questions to ask when setting your drinking target

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Practical tips

Asking yourself  these 5 key questions before setting a target for your drinking can be really  helpful. As we explained in our last  blog post it is  important  to choose an approach that will work for you as one size does not fit all.

Is it better to stop drinking altogether or simply to reduce your drinking?  These questions will help you decide what’s right for you.

 

5  key questions

  1.  If you find once you start drinking, you cannot stop drinking then maybe giving up drink altogether rather then reducing is easier.
  2. If you always go out to get drunk rather then socialise then maybe giving up drinking is easier.
  3. Pressure from friends can influence our drinking. If you go out with friends who drink heavily it may be easier to not drink. Or the opposite, if you go out with friends who drink a little, drinking a little  could be easier.
  4. If you have frequent blackouts, where you can’t remember parts of the night out then not drinking at all may be easier.
  5. Finally, not drinking at all can be easier to do as it needs less planning than  setting a drinking target. so if you hate planning and organising, not drinking at all might be better for you.

Once you’ve answered these questions you may be able to make your decison. If you’re still unsure, there’s other things you can do which can also  help you make the right decision for you.

 

Talk to a friend

Take a look at your advantages and disadvantages of drinking as this can also help you to decide what’s best for you. Find out more  on this here

Consulting a friend or family member who you trust and will listen to you and will not shame or judge you can be helpful. Be a little careful though, often if people have been hurt by our drinking, they can demand more than we can do at this stage.

 

Decide on your target for a week

It can be easier to set a target for a short time rather than saying I’m giving up drink for ever.

If you simply want to take a break from drinking, then setting a goal of not drinking this week at all might be helpful.

If you’ve been drinking every day for the last 10 years, setting a goal of not drinking one day this week might be good for you.

Don’t forget to check whether you have a physical dependence on alcohol before setting  your drinking target. You can find out more about this  here.

 

Believe in yourself

So there is a wide choice of targets and the choice  is yours. What’s really important is that you believe in your ability to reach your target as this will build your confidence in managing your drinking.

In many ways, it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy, if you believe you can achieve your target you will and if you believe your target  is not “do able” then you will be more likely to fail.

So if you want to give up drinking entirely, but don’t feel able for this, set a smaller target that you think you can achieve.

As the Chinese say

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”

If you’d like to check the low risk drinking guidelines please click here.

Irvine likes a couple of beers, but can’t live in Ireland as it’s too difficult

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Personal stories, Social Life

Irvine Welsh the celebrity film director of Trainspotting likes a couple of beers. He’s in the news again because he’s just produced a new novel “The Blade Artist” and a sequel to his famous movie Trainspotting.

In an interview with the Sunday Business Post, Irvine recounts his time spent taking a range of drugs and six happy years living in Dublin.  He apparently spent a lot of time flushing drugs down Dublin toilets. Trainspotting fans kept giving him drugs as the film is about drugs! At that stage after three transitions he was no longer taking drugs.

 

 Irvine likes a couple of beers

Irvine is  now into healthy living, he works out and eats well. Except when he’s in Dublin or Scotland. He finds when he’s in Dublin or Scotland he drinks too much. And he gets less work done.

He told the interviewer

“In Chicago when friends say “Let’s go out for a couple”  They mean a couple of beers, as opposed to a couple of days. They mean two beers and then you go home.”

 

Binge drinking is normal in Ireland

Irvine’s views are supported by the research. According to the Health Research Board we have the second highest rate of binge drinking in the world. Over 75% of the alcohol we drink is drunk in a binge drinking session.

 

What can we do to reduce binge drinking?

First, be aware of the number of drinks which are binge drinking. Six  standard drinks or more as you can see in the image below.

couple of beers

 

Second, sit out a round, make every second or third drink a glass of water.

Third, choose drinks which have less alcohol in them.  For example Low alcohol beers or wines with less alcohol.

You can find plenty more tips on reducing alcohol harm in our free online course here.

 

Yeah, I’m happy with my place in life

So Irvine now lives in Chicago, it’s

“… Great for me, because it means I get on with more work and drink less”

And he says he’s happy with his place in life.

“If you’d offered it to me back then, I’d have taken it”

 

We’re losing out

So Ireland loses a great talent because our culture does not accept normal drinking as a “couple of beers”.

Wonder how many other great talents are wasted because we’re drinking too much?

 

You can see the full interview with Irvine here. (Subscription required)

Which of the nine types of drinkers are you?

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The big picture

Which  of the nine types of drinkers are you ?    We take a quick look at the different types of drinkers

 

Type One,  I drink  and I don’t have a problem

This is the type of drinker most people  like to  think they are. But the research shows that the majority  (54%)  of people who drink, do so in a way that is harming their health as the picture below shows.

types of drinker

So why not take 3 minutes to make sure you’re not in the majority of Irish people who are drinking in a way that harms their health? Click here to start.

 

 Type 2, I get hangovers

Those handovers are such a curse and the major reason I cut back on my drinking as I explain here. If you need help avoiding hangovers you can find out more here.

 

Type 3, I may be drinking too much but I’m not sure

This is where you’re either sick and tired of hangovers and wondering if perhaps you’re drinking too much. If this is you, you can check straight away out in just three quick steps whether you are drinking too much. No emails or personal details needed just click here.

types of drinkers

 

Type 4, I know I drink too much but I don’t care, life is too short

This type of drinker can range from being the life and  soul of the party to the stressed out  Mum guggling the wine each night. But what if you knew there was a few simple actions you could take to reduce your risk of health problems and continue drinking? Find out more here.

 

Type 5, I’m taking my first steps to reduce my drinking

This  can be very lonely and  for some people it can look like there is a long road ahead. But you’re already ahead of the game as most people drinking too much don’t realise they have an alcohol problem. So be kind to yourself.  Click here for free anonymous online support.

 

Type 6, I’ve been trying to sort my drinking for a while

Again this stage of the drinking cycle can feel very depressing. But it is  really common to fail to get your drinking under control several times before you succeed.

JK Rowling the now wealthy and influential writer of the Harry Potter series, wrote the first books while on social welfare in a café. As a single Mother she was too poor to heat her home. Her book was rejected by twelve publishers before finally she found someone to publish the book.

types of drinkers

As an inventor, Thomas Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb. When a reporter asked,

“How did it feel to fail 1,000 times?”

Edison replied,

“I didn’t fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.”

So think of your past failed attempts as steps in the right direction. Each time you drink too much, try and see what happened to make you drink too much ?  Find out more here.

 

Type 7, I will never get my drinking under control

This is really very difficult.  However don’t despair we believe everyone can get their drinking under control. Unfortunately many people start blaming themselves for their failures because as one commentator says

“Nowhere else in medicine is it okay to blame the patient when treatment doesn’t work”

Valerie our co-founder spent 10 years trying to get her drinking under control. She only succeeded because finally she got the right help. Then it turned out all those years she had post natal depression. Once her post natal depression was treated, she was able to get her drinking under control.

Find out  how you can get the right help by asking key questions here.

 

Type 8, I’ve never drunk alcohol

Wow, you’re a rare breed indeed. You probably can’t understand our obsession with alcohol but if you look at the influence of advertising and marketing you’ll begin to see why   we’re so consumed with alcohol. Find out more here.

 

Type 9, I  had a problem, but now I’ve got my drinking under control

This is a great stage to be in. We’d love to hear your views on how you got to this stage. Why not leave  email us privately here.

 

So which of the nine  types of drinkers are you?

So which of the nine types of drinkers are you? We’d love to hear your views. You can comment below or like most people prefer,you can contact us privately  here.

 

Drinking became boring for me I had to find another way

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Personal stories

In my mid-twenties, I used to go out drinking about 4 nights a week. After all, staying home was boring, what else was there to do? After a while though, drinking became boring. I decided to chuck in my job and travel through Asia for a year. But with one unique difference. I would give up alcohol completely.

 

Are hangovers in Ireland and Asia the same?

Hangovers in Ireland and hangovers in Asia. I’m sure they are more or less the same. In typical cliché fashion, I went travelling to find myself. Sure, I could get pissed every night over there. I could have lots of drinking buddies and lots of photos showing I was having a great time. But then, I would still come home to myself, that quiet space where there is just me, not an Irish man, just a man, wondering what is this all about?

 

One whole year without drinking

So, I committed to travelling one whole year without drinking. I achieved it. I had an amazing time. I met some really genuine people that I have stayed in touch with. I  would n’t change that experience for the world.

 

Tee totalling back in Ireland

As I had such a good time abroad not drinking, I thought I would carry on tee totalling back in Ireland. For another few years I stayed off the booze. Initially, I found myself going out and not drinking. But I wasn’t enjoying myself. The music was loud, drinks were getting spilt on me, and everyone was shouting. It all seemed very different under a sober eye.

 

Not drinking became boring

It became clear. I didn’t enjoy going out anymore. So I stopped. I had no hobbies, no social life and work which was fairly tedious. Not drinking became boring. Going to bars and nightclubs sober, left a bad taste in my mouth. But now I had no social life. Quite frankly, I was stressed and miserable and had very few friends left.

 

Back on Booze

I decided to start drinking again. But before I did, I had to have an honest conversation with myself. What did I enjoy? What did I want from a night out? Did I have friends that felt the same?

I enjoyed eating out with friends. Having a couple of drinks made the night a little bit more relaxed and fun. So those were the kinda nights I tried to go out on most. Because it’s what I enjoyed and it turns out I had friends that felt the same.

 

I got tired of binge drinking

I got tired of binge drinking. Feeling like shit for most of the week but I still needed friends and still wanted to go out. I think as Irish people, we are very good at knowing what we don’t want.

 

I don’t want to work here

I don’t want to be fat

I don’t want to be lonely

 

Figuring out what you do want is more than half the battle. For me, that meant going to social occasions where drink was a side dish and not the main course.

What do you think change would look like for you? I would love to hear from you in the comments.

 

Editor’s Note

If you would like to have a better understanding of the reasons why you drink, try out our Janus course

Meditation helped my sober mind

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Mental health, Personal stories, Practical tips

I began meditating a couple of years ago in an effort to try and calm my busy mind, as it has a habit of rattling out a constant internal dialogue during each and every waking moment of my life. I had an idea that this restless mind of mine could perhaps be one of the reasons why I loved a glass of wine so much, as excessive alcohol has the power to switch things off mentally for a while. I needed to create a sober mind.

 

Creating a sober mind

Quietening the mind through imbibing alcohol to the point of slipping into an unconscious heap on the settee is not the goal that your average Buddhist monk is aiming for!  I came to this realisation around the time I knocked drinking on the head. Meditation, however, offers a mind-calming solution minus the coma, so I went along to my local Buddhist centre for a few sessions. To see whether it would help create a sober mind.

I surprised myself with the ease that I relaxed into such a peaceful state, especially given that I was sitting amongst a room full of people I had never met, all sitting with their eyes closed and feet resting atop small red cushions on the floor. However, I struggled to prevent wild thoughts (or monkey mind) from periodically posing a threat to the inner peace I was experiencing fleetingly (but which felt just wonderful when it happened).

 

Would I ever shut my monkey mind up?

After a few weeks of attending the meditation class I spoke to someone who I gathered was a long time meditator, and asked her if I would ever be able to shut my monkey mind up. What she told me was very interesting, and should be borne in mind if you have experienced the same difficulties in maintaining a true silencing of the mind. The goal of meditation, she said, was to develop a greater awareness of the mind and how it operates, and whilst sometimes it is possible to quiet the raging flow of ideas and thoughts that insist on popping up out of nowhere when you are trying to visualise a blue sky and nothing else, quite often those who are meditating (even people with vast experience of the practice) do not succeed in completely closing down their thought process.

 

Don’t view a  busy mind as failure

Rather than view this as a failure, the woman informed me that if I was meditating (monkey mind being awake or not) then I was meditating – with or without the restful, thought-free headspace. Becoming more in tune with your mind allows you to view it as a separate entity that will constantly produce random thoughts – some right and others wrong, some representative of you and others not – beyond your control.

 

Learn to create space from your thoughts

This perception of the mind as almost a living thing in its own right helped me immeasurably to deal with my alcohol issues. Aided by meditation, I have developed the ability to recognise my monkey mind, bad voice, devil on my shoulder, wine witch, call it what you will, and to distance myself from the thoughts which are counter-intuitive to the person I think I am and who I strive to be in the future. Rather than interacting with this negative voice, I am now able to observe it objectively, giving me the power to deal with it as I see fit.

 

Editor’s note.

You might find our course which includes a mediation on cravings helpful. Click here

I can feel without being terrified

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Mental health, Personal stories

quit drinking

A massive cliff

When I first quit drinking I frequently felt as though I was teetering on the threshold of a massive cliff. The edge represented the abyss of my feelings, the emotional reservoir that I had successfully avoided for my entire adult life, and I was petrified of letting myself go anywhere near it. Daytimes were manageable, filled as they were with childcare or work and characteristically lacking in the impressively stubborn self-destruct button that would worm its way into my head as the days evolved into early evening. But when darkness descended, I routinely walked to the brink of feeling, and would always run in the opposite direction.

 

I was so terrified of feeling my feelings

I know why I was so terrified of feeling my feelings: I’m still very conscious of it now, the enormity of human emotions, the turbulent effect they can have upon me, how they possess the unnerving potential to grow unwieldy and all-consuming. Emotions can be big, exciting, terrifying, out-of-control, barely there, impossible to ignore and pleasant, but crucially, they are merely a part of what it is to be a human being – and that fact took me a while to get my head around when I first stopped drinking.

 

Feeling emotions felt bizarre

Initially, feeling emotions felt bizarre and uncomfortable. I was so accustomed to quashing the whole spectrum of my reactions to life that, once free of alcohol, living turned into a medley of colossal ups and downs and my kneejerk response of seeking numbness did not disappear for several months. What I noticed, however, was that as time went by, I began only to wish away the bigger feelings. Boredom, slight shyness and mild grievances – those became doable fairly early on. The challenge lay in the real tsunamis of the emotional range; grief, heavy regret, heartache. When they hit, the old tendency to flee from myself would rise up from the ashes, and eliminating them would require an inner strength that I never knew I possessed.

It was incredibly difficult to ride the storm and just ‘be’, but now, after four and half years without alcohol, I’m there. I can feel without feeling terrified. Here are a few things I have learnt about managing my emotions:

 

This too shall pass

Emotions don’t last forever. Some of them might feel uncomfortable and unpleasant, but bad feelings come and go like tempests in your soul. When I feel unhappy nowadays I just sit it out but with the comforting knowledge that my internal state has no permanence.

 

Feeling our emotions is OK

The anticipation of experiencing feelings is far worse than the reality. Numbing our emotions with alcohol is not actually the ‘normal’ human experience, despite the way society normalises heavy drinking. Feeling our emotions is OK and entirely natural, and it will feel less bizarre the more you do it.

 

There’s nothing like it

Negative emotions can be a challenge to deal with, but sobriety allows for both good and bad emotional rollercoasters. Yes, you may have to cope with heartache, grief, disappointment or stress without the numbing properties of ethanol flat-lining your emotional state, but try feeling the purity of joy, pride, relief, falling in love or a sense of achievement free from an alcoholic fog. There’s nothing like it.

 

Live in the moment

Living in the moment by practising mindfulness truly helps when it comes to managing out-of-control emotional states. Meditation is an excellent place to start with this and there are tons of books and online resources on mindfulness to tap into.

 

Feelings are stepping stones

Regard every challenging feeling you experience as a major stepping-stone in your journey to emotional wellness. With each one, you will grow stronger and better equipped to deal with the good ones, the bad ones, and the ones in between. Avoid wishing your feelings away, and accept that they are a valid element of your life experience.

Filling the bottle – shaped hole

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Personal stories, Practical tips

 BottleFilling the bottle-shaped hole is a phenomenon to which everyone who quits drinking will almost certainly relate; all those hours of spare time during which we are no longer numbing our every sense demand to be filled with other things. But just how do you go about choosing what to do with your new found and hard-won free hours, and how can you motivate yourself to get started in pursuing a new activity?

 

What are the challenges people face in filling a bottle- shaped hole?

  •  Many people find change unsettling.
  • There are suddenly acres of time to fill (drinking both uses and wastes time).
  • Many people worry that they will appear boring when they cut out alcohol – and also that they will no   longer enjoy the things they used to love doing when drinking.
  •  Drinking heavily for a sustained period usually results in a loss of confidence.
  •  The seemingly endless possibilities that open up can appear exciting yet scary.
  •  Some people may feel frozen, stuck or overwhelmed by decision-making.

 

 Give yourself permission…

Before you can begin to fill that bottle-shaped hole, it’s essential that you give yourself permission to truly nurture & look after YOU. A good way to begin filling your time is to get into the habit of enjoying a pampering night – treat yourself, relax, and start dreaming up ideas for your new alcohol-free lifestyle…

 1.Reconnect with friends, make new ones, and adopt a social life of your choosing.
 2.Revisit your career. Is it time for a change? You could take on new challenges e.g. a  study   programme.
 3.Start a home business or perhaps begin writing a blog.
 4.Assess your relationship or even find a new partner with the same values as you.
 5.Check out your local newspaper to find out what’s on in your area; walking, crafting, book groups, online forums, talks, short courses – you could even consider starting your own group.
 6.Volunteer locally.

 

You’re likely to have more energy

Stopping drinking WILL involve making other changes to your life – you’ll have more energy as well as time, and you probably won’t want to socialise as much with heavy drinkers. Becoming alcohol-free equates to an opportunity for personal growth. Who knows what interests you will develop, or where they will lead you? When I quit drinking, I viewed sobriety as the start of an exciting new chapter in my life – and I’ve never looked back.

 

Where will your decision to become alcohol-free take you…?

 

Editor’s Note :

This is a really important area and Lucy has made some great suggestions. We’re putting together Irish details on alcohol free  activities and we’ll publish this online. Don’t forget to sign up for our emails so you know when it becomes available.

Why I stopped drinking altogether

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Personal stories

stopped drinking

Why I Stopped Drinking Altogether

I’m only going to drink beer when I go out, not wine or spirits. I’m not going to that party because it will be too tempting to get rip-roaring drunk. I’m not going to drink between Sundays and Thursdays (except for Wednesdays because my daughter stays with her dad that night). I’m going on a detox: no coffee, no beer, no cigarettes and lots of fruit, vegetables and water – and the odd glass of wine. I’ll see a hypnotherapist and get my brain rewired to make me drink ‘responsibly’.

 

None of them worked

These are just a few of the means of moderating my alcohol intake that I attempted as a drinker.  And guess what? None of them worked, at least, not for longer than a few days. Funnily enough, the one sure-fire way of getting my booze habit under control – i.e. stopping drinking altogether – never occurred to me as a solution. Well, not until I woke up in hospital at 3am with no memory of getting there.

The reason none of these methods of control worked for me was because (even though I didn’t fully acknowledge this fact back then) I was a dependent drinker. I didn’t have an off-switch. As soon as the first glass passed my lips – and I mean the first glass of anything alcoholic – I was gone. The cogs began to whir, I became preoccupied with getting more alcohol inside me, and I stopped caring about whom I was with and how they might be feeling. All I wanted to do was get drunk. And get drunk I would do.

 

I’d stop for a few weeks

Occasionally I would stop drinking for a period of several weeks and actually enjoy it. I liked the break in my hedonistic lifestyle, indulged in the peace and quiet of regular early nights and refreshed mornings. But then, as certain as the sun will set each evening, I would decide to reward myself with a good old session – as a one-off, a treat. I never intended to get back on the slippery slope yet again, but I always did, with remarkable predictability.

 

I live in a very boozy culture

Part of my reticence in quitting drinking permanently was that I, like all of us in the West, was immersed in a very boozy culture. I was never presented with the option of living alcohol-free, and as I grew into a teenager I fell into heavy drinking alongside the majority of my peers. All of my boyfriends drank, my university days passed by in a haze of booze, and when I became a mother, my baby group friends and I would all get together on nights out and discuss husbands and babies over several large glasses of chilled white. I was a drinker, and I never considered being any other way. So even when I became aware that my drinking habits were causing problems for me, it wasn’t quitting that I strived to do, but moderating.

 

Quitting was unthinkable

Quitting was an unthinkable option. And yet moderating was impossible for me.

After twenty long, booze-soaked years, the penny finally dropped and I realised that my relationship with alcohol would never change as long as I kept on drinking. That merry-go-round of drunkenness and the associated calamity that was never far away would become the defining characteristic of my life. And I couldn’t bear that thought. So I stopped, for good, in April 2011.

 

And guess what? It was the best thing I ever did

 

Editors Note

If you’re trying to make a decision on whether to stop drinking altogether, you might find our mini course on the questions to think about useful in making your decision. Click here to find out more