Overlooked for promotion –again
You really thought you’d get that promotion but some else got “your” job. Totally frustrating. Another reason to hit the bottle and drown your sorrows. Before you drown your sorrows though, take a few minutes to see if you can learn anything from this experience.
Examine your feelings
First of all, examine your feelings about why you’re frustrated. Did you actually not want the promotion but because someone you consider less able than you got it you’re annoyed? Or did you really want this promotion?
Look for feedback
Look for some feedback on why you did not get the job. You might learn something that could be helpful next time a promotion is coming up. In my case, I learned I should have networked more to let people know I was interested in the job and why I should get it. Networking is something we women tend to be bad at.
I still should have that job
If you still feel that you’ve done all the right things to get promotion and yet you’ve being over looked again, then the following questions may help
- Does your employer appear to be treating you with respect?
- Did they make sure you heard you were not getting the promotion in a sensitive fashion- rather than through the grapevine?
- Did your boss take you seriously when you went in to talk to him/her?
- Have previous commitments to you been met?
- Have you got a clear consistent indication of what you need to do to be promoted?
Consider moving on
If you don’t get the sense your boss is treating you fairly, then you need to think seriously about moving on either within the organisation, (if it’s big enough), or to another job. Don’t do this hastily but do consider all your options.
One person I know, who had been badly treated and handed in their notice put it very well.
“Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me”
Don’t drown your sorrows at work events
If you’re feeling bad about being overlooked for that promotion, don’t drown your sorrows at work events. Drink tends to loosen our tongues and it is easy to start confiding in the wrong people about your disappointment. People who may label you unfairly as a “lush” or “over-emotional”.
Avoid the free drink at work
The recent trend of firms making free alcohol available at the end of the day does not always make avoiding drink easy. This is a real problem in the technology sector with their free beer and pizza and “work hard, play hard” 24 hour macho culture.
Don’t try to match the men
In these cultures in order to get that promotion, it’s very easy to get caught up in drinking and matching the men drink for drink. Unfortunately our bodies absorb alcohol in a different way. So it’s recommended women only drink 11 standard drinks per week, where men can drink up to 17 standard drinks per week.
Don’t blame yourself
If treated badly by an employer, many people tend to internalise and unknowingly blame themselves. If other areas of your life are not going well, you can start to drown your sorrow in alcohol and drink every day. Your self-confidence and self-esteem tends to plummet, often unnoticed to you.
You can take control
If this continues, with drinking maybe causing depression or hangovers it becomes more and more difficult to move on. The familiar situation is less intimidating then the unknown “new situation” of a new job. Often the employer then treats that employee even more unfairly on the
“Carol is here years, she’ll never leave principle”.
So if you’ve been unfairly over looked for promotion that you make clear you wanted. Take action. You can’t control the actions of your employer and expecting them to change is unrealistic. You can however take control of your own actions.
If you’d like to know about safe drinking, click here for information